Hey, did I tell you that I can teleport myself to the near future, disguised as inanimate objects?
Well, I can. And I did.
I teleported myself to Snooki’s future baby shower, disguised as a tube of Herpes Cream. Turns out I wasn’t the only tube there, so I made a lot of friends. I also hit it off with a can of Axe Body Spray.
I was hidden in Deena’s purse, so I didn’t have a very good view of the shindig. I ended up stuck between a used condom and a canoli. My tube nearly got cut open on a broken mirror in there. I assume Deena broke it….just by looking in it.
Anyway, Deena was in charge of scribbling down the presents that Snooks received at the shower. Once she was done, she stuck the list in her purse and I caught a peek.
Johnson’s Baby Bronzer and a signed contract that I will always wear a sack over my head around the baby so he/she is not frightened at my appearance -Deena
Powdered Infant Ron Juice and Flintstone supplements-Ronnie
Silicone teething rings and Clone-a-Nipple pacifier maker- JWoww
DTF (Drooling Teething Farting) Onesie and bottle of *GTL (Gerber Tanning Lotion)- Pauly
DNA testing kit- Vinny
DNA testing kit-Mike
Blue and Pink baby clip in extensions, baby grooming kit with miniature hair straightener- Samantha
Mom’s Phone Number (for babysitting and/or taking custody if needed) and parenting book written by Amber from Teen Mom-Jenelle from Teen Mom 2 (Jenelle swears by Amber’s parenting book).
DNA testing kit- Jionni
Diapers were not received. Snookie doesn’t cover her ass. Why should her baby?
I teleported back home once Pauly yelled *”Caabz are heeeerre!”
 |
| On a side note, I am totally obsessed with someecards.com. There is nothing more awesome than a random phrase paired with an innocent old school photo. I made this one and I wish I could get paid to make more. The possibilities are endless. |
*Contributed by my bestie, CAY.
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